“Strong Black woman” isn’t a badge we asked for.
And joy? Joy is not a reward. It’s a right.

We’ve been praised for our resilience, our hustle, our ability to carry the weight of everyone around us. But somewhere along the line, we stopped being seen outside of our strength. Our softness became an afterthought. Our joy became conditional.

Not anymore.

This Self-Care Sunday, we’re reminding every Black woman, every femme, every caretaker and creator:
You deserve to feel light, to feel pleasure, to feel ease—without needing to explain a damn thing.

The Myth of “Earning” Joy

We’ve been conditioned to believe that joy comes after:

• After the work is done
• After the kids are settled
• After the house is clean
• After we’ve proven we’ve done enough to deserve it

But joy was never meant to be rationed.
It’s not the dessert—it’s part of the meal.

Joy is not something you earn. It’s something you reclaim.

Softness Is a Power Move

Softness does not mean passivity.
It doesn’t mean fragility.
It means choosing yourself, gently and repeatedly, in a world that tells you to harden.

It’s saying:

• I’m not answering emails today.
• I’m wearing this dress just because it makes me feel beautiful.
• I’m resting, not because I’m broken—but because I’m whole.
• I’m laughing, even if the world is on fire—because I refuse to burn, too.

3 Ways to Reclaim Joy Today (No Permission Needed)

1. Romanticize Your Routine

Light the candle. Wear the lipstick. Make your lunch look like a love letter. Add softness to the everyday.

2. Say “No” Like It’s a Full Sentence

You don’t need a reason to protect your peace. “No” is sacred. Use it. Honor it.

3. Do Something Just for Pleasure

Not for profit. Not for progress. Just joy.
Dance. Bake. Rewatch that cheesy movie. Read that steamy novel. Let yourself have it.

Joy as Resistance

Existing in joy, as a Black woman, is revolutionary. It is the refusal to let oppression define your days. It is rebellion in a world that profits from your exhaustion. It is legacy. Because when you choose joy, you teach the next generation to do the same.

You deserve softness. You deserve delight. You deserve to live a life that doesn’t just look good on paper, but feels good in your body.

Let them call it selfish. Let them call it too much.
Let them say what they will.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your joy.
This week, give yourself the softness you’ve been denying.
Wrap yourself in pleasure. Speak to yourself kindly. Wear ease like it was made for you—because it was.